NACOS 2.2: Worden’s second task, which is “Experience the pain of the loss.”

NACOS 2.2: Worden’s second task, which is “Experience the pain of the loss.”

Topic #2: Recognizing patterns of grief in congregations and cultures utilizing William Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning. Grief is defined as an adaptation to unwanted change.

2.2 Using the mental model of Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning, consider how your congregation is coping with the loss of “the way we have always done it before” due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Who – an individual or a group – is an example of what it is like to be struggling with the second task (which is “Experience the pain of the loss”)?

QUOTE: Task Two – To Work through the Pain of Grief
For most of us, the normal feelings of grief are sad, uncomfortable ones. From a variety of life experiences, we are all too familiar with the sadness, anger, hurt, emptiness, and loneliness that accompany loss. A sudden, unexpected death can also carry the pain of regret and unfinished business as well as the guilt that perhaps we could have done something to prevent the death from having happened. Homicides bring with them a great deal of fear and concern about the violence and randomness of life in addition to worries about our own safety. Suicide often burdens survivors with an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the death. Guilt and blame, which frequently take the form of scapegoating as we search for an explanation for the suicide, are often mixed with the initial shock that strikes when learning about the death. Ignoring these feelings does not make them disappear; we simply store them up and are often confronted with them at some future time. Acknowledging and talking about them, however, gives us the opportunity to understand them and put them in perspective. While some of these feelings may resurface from time to time as we are confronted with reminders of the deceased, they do diminish with time. Our ability to work through the feelings of grief can increase our sense of personal mastery over some of the more difficult circumstances we will be faced with in life. [1]

REFLECTION:
What does it look like when someone is enmeshed with experiencing the pain of the Coronavirus pandemic?
What behaviors do we see?

ASSIGNMENT QUESTION: (in the comments on Facebook)
Describe someone stuck at this task, either in your life or in your congregation?
What would you do to help?

SOURCE – Footnotes:
[1]   Tasks of Grief, Maine.gov Suicide Prevention Program.
https://www.maine.gov/suicide/docs/Survivor-Kit/Tasks-Grief.pdf

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