This is an anchor post; its purpose is to begin the discussion on a particular topic.
KUEKER’S COMMENTARIES ON THE FOUR QUESTIONS:
1. Most of us most of the time prefer to be unaware of what we want and what we are doing. This is called denial.
2. We evade the answers to the questions because we think not knowing excuses us from responsibility for our behavior.
3. We are always responsible for our behavior, which has four parts: doing, thinking, feeling & our physiology.
4. We always have some control; we always have choices. Choosing to do nothing, to be passive or to conform to our environment is still a choice.
5. Passivity usually contributes nothing positive. It is usually our fantasy to have wonderful things happen to us without any effort on our parts; this is regression to infancy, when our parents (supposedly) provided all our needs for us.
6. Living your life without conscious control is like driving a car with your eyes shut. Going anywhere means one accident after another. The only safe alternative is to either go nowhere (passivity) or open your eyes and take effective control of your life.
7. What we are doing usually reveals hidden aspects of what we want.
8. People will often choose pain and misery in order to control others, manipulating others into providing what they want while they remain passive.
RESOURCES: This is one of four Reality Therapy Questions that help us shape our behavior. It is mentioned in my handout on PSYCHOLOGICAL TOOLS FOR PERSONAL WHOLENESS, David O. Kueker, Kinmundy/Wesley United Methodist Church in the section entitled 1. THE WAY UP.
These three books form the basis of my understanding: Reality Therapy: A New Approach to Psychiatry by William Glasser, MD. Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom by William Glasser, MD. Using Reality Therapy by Robert E. Wubbolding.
The FOUR REALITY THERAPY QUESTIONS which help us find the way up and out are:
1. What do I want?
2. What am I doing?
3. Is what I am doing getting me what I want? (Evaluation)
4. What is my plan? (Plan)
or
What will I now do to get me more of what I want?
Dr. Wubbolding also refers to them as the WDEP system. (Source: Robert Wubbolding, EdD, Using Reality Therapy.)
ABOUT THIS CATEGORY: This category is an ongoing conversation on ideas from books that have blessed me over my long life; new information will be added to posts from time to time, including quotes either from the book or from other’s commends on that book. It’s a personal list and of great variety. I recommend these books because I’ve found them useful, interesting, or fun, or combinations of all three. This blog has no economic benefit if you buy these books, and we are part of no affiliate program that would bring an economic benefit. The recommendation here is a way of saying Thank You to the authors and publishers that have made them available.