OPW#2.33 How can I use the mental model of the Pastors “Scream-Free Formula” for Reactivity?


Scream-Free Formula – adapted to me

Pause Yourself:
How might Dave detach himself from the situation long enough to just stop and think?

Go to the Balcony:
How might Dave gain some objectivity on the situation, and what are some possible patterns he may discover?
What is the system? What is the sequence of cause and effect, if and then?

Spot Your Pattern:
With his pause and objectivity, what might Dave learn about his active, or passive, contributions to these patterns?
What is the system? What is the sequence of cause and effect, if and then?

Step on the Scale:
Why does ____________ mean so much to him? What does he want most here?

Show Your Cards:
How may Dave calmly confess his newfound knowledge about his role in all this, to those involved, and how might he also show what he wants most with each and all of them?

Champion Your Spouse:
How could Dave welcome input from those involved, communicating clearly that he longs to know their honest concerns and truest desires?

So what do you think would happen next? How might Dave, after hearing from from those involved, have to repeat the formula with those involved?”


NOTE (my response)




All Scripture quotations are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1946, 1952, and 1971 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Please review the page How and Why We Use Quotes.

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