FOUR REALITY THERAPY QUESTIONS: (finding the way up and out)
1. What do I want?
2. What am I doing?
3. Is what I am doing getting me what I want? (Evaluation)
4. What is my plan? (Plan)
What will I now do to get me more of what I want?
Robert Wubbolding, EdD, Using Reality Therapy)
4. KUEKER’S COMMENTARIES ON THE FOUR QUESTIONS:
1. Most of us most of the time prefer to be unaware of what we want and what we are doing. This is called denial.
2. We evade the answers to the questions because we think not knowing excuses us from responsibility for our behavior.
3. We are always responsible for our behavior, which has four parts: doing, thinking, feeling & our physiology.
4. We always have some control; we always have choices. Choosing to do nothing, to be passive or to conform to our environment is still a choice.
5. Passivity usually contributes nothing positive. It is usually our fantasy to have wonderful things happen to us without any effort on our parts; this is regression to infancy, when our parents (supposedly) provided all our needs for us.
6. Living your life without conscious control is like driving a car with your eyes shut. Going anywhere means one accident after another. The only safe alternative is to either go nowhere (passivity) or open your eyes and take effective control of your life.
7. What we are doing usually reveals hidden aspects of what we want.
8. People will often choose pain and misery in order to control others, manipulating others into providing what they want while they remain passive.